The Fundamental Rule that Helps Getting Over Your Ex
Thousands of tragic stories about love have been spread around the world until today. You must have heard them. You know, one of the most popular scenarios end with suicides. For instance, a young (or middle-aged, whatever) man falls deeply in love with a woman, or vice versa. After a passionate affair, it turns out that one of them is married, or promiscuous, or just an idiot or they both no longer belong to each other as it happens with all of us in real life. In brief, they break up. Another case is when someone’s feelings are not mutual at all. Instead of getting over this unrequited situation, one of the sides falls into a horrible depression and commits suicide.
Sounds so romantic and touching, doesn’t it? OH MY GOD, OF COURSE, IT DOES NOT! For several hundred years such stories have formed a basis for numerous of sentimental plots. And people love them! In our thoughts, this is a genuine demonstration of feelings. Moreover, different pieces of art and certain social norms imposed us a strong need to be in close relationships. If it doesn’t happen, it is better to die than living alone. Therefore, millions of people may not commit mass suicide, but they mourn their unsuccessful relationships for too long. So, what to do if you’re desperately trying to get over your ex?
Realize one simple truth. When relationships end, you both go your own way. Moreover, usually after a breakup, your ex-doesn’t care about your feelings and thoughts anymore. Being focused on a person who doesn’t want to see you at all is ridiculous and pathetic. Some might devote themselves to people who got married years ago or moved to another country. The thing you need to understand is that we only live once, and every day is an opportunity to make it meaningful. Crying over your past love may be healing, but you have to move on.
Look around. Focusing on one single person is a losing game. We all surely met a person whose interest, mindset, and views on the future coincide with ours. It is great if such relationship hasn’t ended, but if it is ruined, you should not dwell on your ex. Every day you meet hundreds of people and believe me, you surely will find a man or woman who is way better than your heartbreaker. Make a list of qualities you want to see in your future partner without reflecting on past relationships. Be ready to resume dating, because you will never find another mate sitting at home and crying. Meeting new people on a dating site is a great option.
Distract your thoughts. Humanity hasn’t invented yet a more effective way to forget your ex than a distraction. Well, you may try to wipe off your memories like in ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’, but the aftermath can be terrifying. Therefore, instead of ruining your mind, it is better to fill it with something useful and pleasant. Many of the brokenhearted discovered a huge word of new hobbies, traveling, and professional growth exactly after their relationships failed. Get involved in some creative activities. For instance, cooking is useful for your housekeeping skills and inspiration. But don’t do it all alone, set up dinner parties for your friends. Another perfect way of distraction is putting your mind into another reality. Briefly, read books. This is a great opportunity to get new knowledge and broaden your worldview. Remember that intelligent and well-read people are more attractive than the whiners.
So, you might have noticed that all these tips concern only your own personality. You won’t be selfish or egocentric if you decide to live only for yourself after a breakup. It should be this way. Focusing on your own needs and interests is the key rule that helps to get over your ex. Not a single day of your only life is worth suffering from loneliness. Make this loneliness work for you, and later, after your thoughts become positive, start a new life with someone else.